Humiliate yourself on Cam for Ms. Cassandra & Ms. Hunter

Humiliate yourself on Cam for Ms. Cassandra & Ms. Hunter

You want to masturbate for us.  You want to go on cam for us.  But why would we want to watch another pathetic loser with a puny pecker?  Losers like you are a dime a dozen.  So what are you going to do to make yourself stand out?

Fun from the Fridge

Entertain us and make us laugh at your expense, of course.  But it’ll take more than waving that wee little willie in front of the cam.  That’s boring.  Grab some butter out of the fridge and smear it all over your little dicky.  …or better yet, butter your buns with it.  Crack some eggs over your dicklette and use the shells to stroke.

Get out the jar of grape jelly and use it like a pocket pussy.  Put that bitch on the floor, get in plank position and thrust the hell out of it.  Be sure to tell “her” how good she feels wrapped around your wiener.

Speaking of wieners… get them out of the fridge.  Take one out of the package and hold it up next to your own.  After proving that the hotdog stands a better chance than your puny pud, dangle it in front of your face and sing to it.  You know the words… Ready?

Ode to a Real Wiener

“Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener,
That is what I really want to be-ee-ee-ee.
For if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener,
Everyone would be in love with me!”

What?  You don’t have a teeny weenie?  You have a nice big dick?  So what.  You’re still a loser or you wouldn’t be here.  Now suck it up and pick up the phone.

Speaking of sucking… oh wait, that’s another post. 🙂